Depression, anxiety, social phobia, personality disorders or more commonly self-sabotage, low self-esteem, and guilt. How are they born?
Neuroscientists, biologists, psychiatrists, and psychologists have examined the potential causes of the disorders mentioned above. They identified two broad categories defined as “endogenous factors” and “environmental factors.” All professionals, agree that the quality of care received during childhood may be more decisive than ever in inducing one or more of the disorders listed at the beginning.
Childhood Emotional Neglect can be considered the core of any emotional malaise experienced in adulthood.
The effective deficiency can be considered the true matrix of all the discomfort of the people, we speak of the shortcomings that the child can experience in the daily life of his childhood and that, gradually, can also give rise to personality disorders.
In psychological jargon, affective deficiency is defined as emotional neglect. Emotional neglect makes children illiterate affective.
Just as the child learns the alphabet in order to read, he should learn to validate his emotions in order to live well. Those who are victims of emotional neglect tend to invalidate every emotion they experience. An emotional voidance with implications that sometimes can be tragic.
When the parental care is not adequate, the child becomes an adult completely disconnected from his emotional sphere. Some emotions work in the background, silent … they do not rise to the surface, the adult cannot recognize them, cannot express them except through anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression or other physical illnesses.
A child, to develop an anxiety disorder or worse, a personality disorder, must only grow in a family that ignores his emotions or does not give adequate answers.
Imagine you are a child, it should not be difficult for you to do it because once you were. Imagine experiencing intense emotions that your parents do not seem to notice. Nobody asks you what disturbs you, how comes that you look so angry or upset … Indeed, your parents seem to diminish your feelings- “you’re too sensitive” “Hey, don’t you think you’re exaggerating?” “Calm down …”. As a child, you will feel hurt in feelings … you will have learned that your emotions do not matter. Over time, you will learn to keep your emotions away, to build an inner wall to keep them away, to protect yourself or even your mother. Crying, getting angry, laughing too much, running for joy … are inadequate and harmful attitudes and can become a cause for shame.
Moreover, so you will go on, through the adolescence and adulthood. The problem of many ailments is precisely the lack of a direct connection on what happens inside of oneself and what has triggered that situation.
Every event has motivations but many of us escape because we have not received the right training to learn the emotions. All this is reflected in every day, even in small episodes.
Example: you were waiting for a phone call! Your friend, your partner or your daughter … forgot to call you and the tragedy begins in you.
A missed call can become a big mistake for many people, trigger anger, a sense of disappointment, suffering … “How could you forget me?”
In fact, most of the time, it is not that missed call to hurt but what that lack has evoked. If your mother neglected you today when someone forgets to call you or give you the attention you think deserves … you suffer a lot. Everyone will tell you that you are a very sensitive person, but in this context, your sensitivity is linked to that old wound never healed …. to that lack that you have experienced for the different years of your childhood.
Another classic example is anxiety or worse, panic attacks. Anxiety is a response that our unconscious gives when feelings of fear, worries or other tensions are not addressed directly … how can you face emotions that you can not feel? You do not know why you’ve never learned to get in touch with those feelings, how could you do it when your child’s emotions were constantly invalidated?
Physiological and psychosomatic aspects
So is everything reduced to the emotional sphere?
Should we not bother with genetics or medicine?
It is not just about psychology but also about biology. In childhood, we learn not only to talk, but also to love or to walk. During childhood, we begin to experience the full range of emotions, and these have chemicals that are reflected in the brain.
Many forget that in childhood all our equipment is being developed and that, at this stage, we are building our dense neural network. Those same chemicals secreted in response to different emotions could make us more sensitive to depression or anxiety.
The physiological role of emotions is now undeniable, and every day we discover new ones thanks to psychosomatics.
Becoming aware of the causes that induce the various disorders, makes it easier to work to restore any lack. Now you know you can break that wall that separates you from your emotions. You can start to welcome old and new emotions … the road is long, it’s true, but now you know which way to move. Emotions can greatly simplify your life. You can learn to identify them, listen to them and build your identity based on what they suggest. To do this, do not be afraid to get yourself guided by a hypnotherapist.
Hypnosis is the craft of the connection between mind (thoughts ) and body (emotions). The method ” healing the inner child” can be used when the client in the hypnotic state, and it can help to release stuck emotions and unwanted feelings. The “Inner child work” is the process of contacting, understanding, embracing and healing your inner child. Your inner child represents your first original self that entered into this world; it contains your capacity to experience wonder, joy, innocence, sensitivity, and playfulness.
One of the most potent ways to reconnect with your inner child to heal childhood traumas is to do an inner journey.